You Are An Emerging Church Junky If ...

1. In order to be more informal on Sunday mornings, you don't put starch in your Sunday blue-jeans.
2. You have trouble deciding what part of "Christian Yoga" is not Christian!
3. You think an organ is a body part.
4. You equate the Prince of Peace with Green Peace.
5. You always spiff up your footwear once a week - that is, you faithfully polish your open toed sandals each Sunday for church.
6. To you an old folk song would be Amazing Grace.
7. You believe the twelve most popular and different English versions of the Bible were written by the twelve apostles.
8. You always wonder what the pastor is up to if he opens his Bible.
9. During the regular Sunday morning devotional in church you never look down at your watch. You look down at your stop watch!
10. You think your church is going to the dogs if it does not have tennis courts and a Sushi Bar.
11. You think stay-at-home moms have apostatized from doctrinal truth.
12. You believe religiously everything you hear in the Health Section on the evening news.
13. You use the word "safe" (as in, "Are my kids safe?") over fifty times in conversation every thirty minutes.
14. You have been so brainwashed with political correctness you do not understand the tongue-in-cheek truthfulness and the humor in the above statements.